Adam Bash makes his ‘tertiary’ appearance to join Dan, Joel and Nick in a lackluster display of teamwork and poor communication skills. Plans fail, people die, and a burly man with a machine gun hides in a shrubbery with a redhead.

The four set out to become the greatest international group thieves the world has ever seen in Monaco: What’s Yours is Mine, only to realise that they are almost completely incompetent and really don’t synergise very well. At least somebody got to smash down some walls with a sledgehammer.

IT’S UNBELIEVABLE. THIS IS A HISTORIC EVENT. DAN ACTUALLY BEATS A GAME THIS WEEK. Shame that The Karate Kid was still an awful game anyway. To return to form after doing the unthinkable, Dan decides to tackle both Double Dragon III and The Adventures of Bayou Billy. Things do not end well.

What happened? There were spiders, underground vultures, a snake, fish, incorporeal floors and a large pit that led to nothing but pain. Then suddenly, as if attempting to rescue Dan from this subterranean hell, the Silver Surfer wooshed by and smashed into a seemingly innocent vase, instantly defeating him.

As you may have noticed, starting yesterday we have ad banners on Splitkick. If you didn’t notice, you probably have an ad blocker of some sort installed. We’ve operated for nearly 2 years without any cash coming into the website, so we figured it was about time we started trying to recoup some of the costs we’ve put up on the site itself.

As a follow up to last week’s train wreck, we’re fleshing out the Marvel X-perience with an X-Men theme in this episode. Sadistic game design abounds in the dire Wolverine: Adamantium Rage followed by Dan once again showing his complete lack of Super Hero skills in X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse for the Super Nintendo!

It’s a Marvel massacre this week featuring two especially awful licensed Spider-Man games! After admitting defeat once again and getting absolutely no-where in Spider-Man and the X-Men, Dan tries his hand at a game based on The Animated Series. This proves to be a least a little more forgiving until an ill-fated trip to the circus breaks Dan’s spirit for good!

At first glance, Fester’s Quest appears to be a fairly solid action/adventure title. The controls are solid, the action is paced fairly well and the soundtrack is pretty damn good. After about an hour of playing Fester’s Quest, Dan is left on the edge of insanity at a game which seems to be designed with the express intent to aggravate and exhaust the player. It’s like an 8-bit Dark Souls, only with no incentive to keep playing.

Last year on the Rocket Jump podcast, after missing both New York Comic Con and PAX East for 2012, I made the proclamation that I’d be going to PAX East 2013, FOR SURE. Today, I’m proud to announce not only that I’m holding my word and will be there from Thursday night to Sunday, but I’ll be joined by Ben Daniels, John Wells, and Holly Smalley.

We’re excited to announce that we’ve partnered with Raptr! What does this mean? Well, now you have another new way to interact with the Splitkick community and meet new people to play and talk about games with.

In a surprising turn of events Dan actually plays a good game for this week’s episode. However, five stages and multiple tantrums later (with the right coaching from Aaron and Joel), Dan just adds more truth to the notion that maybe he really is awful at games.

This week Dan finds that what he previously believed to be his true calling as a mutant superhero crime fighter was little more than an impossible pipe dream as he barely fumbles his way through the first level of X-Men for the Genesis.

In this week’s episode Dan and Joel return to Isla Nublar for the Genesis semi-sequel to Jurassic park with Jurassic Park: Rampage Edition. Dan gains a deep seeded hatred for pterodactyls, rides a dinosaur like a true wild west cowboy, and realises that life really is much easier when you are a velociraptor.