Let’s Play Bandit Kings of Ancient China 6: Dick Being a Dick

“Master! Master! Master!” said a creature in a high pitched wail. “Good news from the North! We have defeated Leopard Headed!”

“Ahh, Dwarf Tiger. They sent… you. I’ll have to have words with Corpse Defiler when I see him next. But… Thank you.”

“Yes. Yes. YES!!” He continued. “Death and blood and feces and ….”

“Yes Dwarf Tiger, I’m glad you had fun,” I quickly interrupted. “We have some nice bridges in the area for you to collect tolls. Feel free to choose any of them.”bk5-1

“Thank you master!”


Not everything was good news. Dick now considered us a huge threat and his goons started showing up demanding bribes.


I told him to fuck off, and he invaded prefecture 6. Luckily my forces there were competent and they repelled the assault.


In other news, Swine Flu had started to spread in the west. Flying God was concerned.

“As a wizard, I have some healing magic,” Flying God said meekly, while averting his gaze. “We’ll have to keep our eyes on this.”

“So long as we don’t have to stop eating bacon,” I began, “you can worry about whatever you want,” I replied.


AGAIN!? Another demand! I had ordered soldiers from 8 to move into 6 to fortify our positions. I again told Strong Winged to fuck off.


Another invasion. Another Victory.


I travelled downtown to take a look at the local talent. With so much strife I needed some more bandits to help me out. I was intimidated by a Lady named “Ten Foot Snake.” She had refused to join and I was glad, with a name like that I feel we might be getting more than we could handle.


About Kirk Spaziani

Software Engineer, Musician, Gamer, Nerd, Indie Developer of Tales of Jornica: The Lonely Dwarves
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