Let’s Play Bandit Kings of Ancient China 6: Dick Being a Dick

“Master! Master! Master!” said a creature in a high pitched wail. “Good news from the North! We have defeated Leopard Headed!”

“Ahh, Dwarf Tiger. They sent… you. I’ll have to have words with Corpse Defiler when I see him next. But… Thank you.”

“Yes. Yes. YES!!” He continued. “Death and blood and feces and ….”

“Yes Dwarf Tiger, I’m glad you had fun,” I quickly interrupted. “We have some nice bridges in the area for you to collect tolls. Feel free to choose any of them.”bk5-1

“Thank you master!”

 

Not everything was good news. Dick now considered us a huge threat and his goons started showing up demanding bribes.

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I told him to fuck off, and he invaded prefecture 6. Luckily my forces there were competent and they repelled the assault.

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In other news, Swine Flu had started to spread in the west. Flying God was concerned.

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“As a wizard, I have some healing magic,” Flying God said meekly, while averting his gaze. “We’ll have to keep our eyes on this.”

“So long as we don’t have to stop eating bacon,” I began, “you can worry about whatever you want,” I replied.

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AGAIN!? Another demand! I had ordered soldiers from 8 to move into 6 to fortify our positions. I again told Strong Winged to fuck off.

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Another invasion. Another Victory.

 

I travelled downtown to take a look at the local talent. With so much strife I needed some more bandits to help me out. I was intimidated by a Lady named “Ten Foot Snake.” She had refused to join and I was glad, with a name like that I feel we might be getting more than we could handle.

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About Kirk Spaziani

Software Engineer, Musician, Gamer, Nerd, Indie Developer of Tales of Jornica: The Lonely Dwarves
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